A few weeks ago, I ran across this 4-minute video and it sparked my interest to complete a post started in February.
Although, Goldie has been able to walk her "independent" talk ~ perhaps through greater opportunity ~ many women, around the world have not had such positive experience. Why? Well, there's many reasons, one of which I'd like to cover in this post. Being open to various perspectives, I would very much enjoy hearing from you which would assist me in the completion of the upcoming book, Transformative Union: Developing Masculine Feminine Harmony.
Feminist or Masculinist Movement?
It is clear that women do need their own source of income (power) and truly, this was what the feminist movement was about. An important step for women overall; there are more women CEOs, etc. than ever before. However, the "feminist movement" was not at all about women stepping into their feminine power for creation. It was more about females moving more solidly into their masculine energy to create within the already established masculine business paradigm. An important step for women's independence, but for me, a serious difference that screams for understanding now ~ particularly around the further breakdown of relationships. Is it possible therefore that a better term would have been the Masculinist Movement for Women?
Before now, the world was not ready for the true feminine ~ which whether male or female we all hold inside. We had no feminine face of God and those who tried earlier connection with her, and with the Earth ~ male and female ~ were burnt at the stake, etc. However, from my perspective, a grand change occurred in 2008 when Mother Goddess did indeed return (a long story I won't go into now). Since then, a larger number of women are embracing the feminine and receiving great emotional and spiritual healing from doing so. This certainly has the potential to allow more feminine leadership and ripple outward to a wider majority of men.
The most important recognition is that we really can't step out of personal, relational, or global separation with 1/2 of the energy suppressed ~ particularly the creative portion. So this is truly an event that has the capacity to instill greater creativity, health, balance, and love in our world.
Perhaps this is the way Christ originally intended, where we truly know love from within? Where we all embrace and better understand all of ourselves and the relative masculine feminine ratio we each hold? Certainly it was not to separate further, but to create our own love balance and ripple it outward.
Will we then call this the masculinist movement? Ha! Well, no, because many -- not all -- males don't necessarily wish to further embody their feminine. For them, that would not create greater empowerment, but turn them into a sissy, gay, or girl. Listen to the feminine perspective? What and be "pussy whipped"? Not true... but unfortunately the common view of the lowly feminine energy, upon this planet, 5,000 - 10,000 years in the making.
So what is feminine energy and how can we all embody it more? Well... that's what my upcoming book, or the workshops I hope to develop around this subject in the future, are all about. So, watch for that. For now, let's talk a bit about relationships and the best way to help them work through all this change.
Time to flip the order now and for all of us (male and female) to go more inward for our answers now?
Relationship Breakdown to Breakthrough
Feeling my soul chose to step into deeper layers of separation manure than others, to eventually assist in the growth of new healing solutions and deeper union with the self, the Infinite, and others, I can occasionally feel a hypocrite speaking to relationship at all. Therefore, just think of me as a pioneer of inner union ~ much like Edison having learned 10,000 ways NOT to make a light bulb and therefore very helpful!
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work" ~ Thomas Edison
Earlier this year, a Facebook acquaintance posted an article that was titled, "The Right Relationship Doesn't Require Sacrifice". Agreeing with the words in the article, "synergy" and "collaboration" in relationship, and adding that I felt that women were carrying more weight on their shoulders now, a healthy discussion ensued. One man replied that he tried to give to the woman in his life, yet she insisted on being independent. Well, sure, coming out of the feminist movement, she certainly wouldn't want it to return to what she saw for her mother... grandmother... great-grandmother... and on and on.
There are likely more men that feel the same as the one on Facebook. Also men who feel they've been shouldering far too much of the physical / financial burden ~ only in DOing (masculine) ~ and are not getting their fair share of rest ~ BEing (feminine). Of course this depends on the happiness level of both entities in those particular partnerships and whether they have children, their ability to make agreements, shift with changes, etc. But from my perspective, it is mostly about all of us being willing to be balanced now in both energies and this is key for healthy relationship ~ interdependence, collaboration, and synergy.
What is a Relationship Truly For?
Most of us were taught that a relationship is to get... intimacy, providing, nurturing, validation, protection, etc. However, if we haven't given those things to ourselves, we don't truly have them inside to gift to anyone else. Also, if we believe we are on Earth from "heaven" to grow our souls, but we enter a relationship to make us happy, as Goldie said, we are in big trouble! Expectations are disaster and not seeing ourselves clearly and honestly in the mirror our companions hold for us, is missing the whole point.
This leads me to the meme I posted recently on my Facebook page:
Photo Credit: dusttoashes.com
I'm no expert, but it would seem that In healthy relationships, both are operating from their soul ~ not ego ~ selves. They avoid blame, projection, and armoring, having awareness those behaviors only stop soul growth. They know their strengths and weaknesses, have faced their light and shadow, and aren't afraid to vulnerably discuss and make agreements that honor both individuals and the whole. The divine portions of all of us keep our hearts open even through the pain.
Of course this is a bit idealistic, but how do we meet a goal if we don't identify it first? Many of us are taught we come to Earth from this "heaven" place, but in Christianity we are also taught that another person outside us is entirely accountable for our errors and through him, we are "saved". Personally, I find this to be highly irresponsible, yet we display this type of behavior in our close relationships. We expect the other to "save" us in some way and that seems childish. It's time for all of us to grow up and relationships are falling apart to help us do just that. When we accept this, we can heal.
Marriage or Union With the Whole Self First?
Marriage can be a good thing. However, as the video expressed, those with much feminine energy within and long standing cultural conditioning can lose ourselves through isolation, being seen as extension or a possession rather than a person, and/or feel dis-empowered through criticism or lack of freedom to explore our dreams. This can occur from a partner's fear of losing us, from not being in the lead (wearing the pants), etc., or from our own fears projected onto our partner as a way to avoid clearly seeing and growing ourselves.
Regardless whether more masculine (yang) or feminine (yin) we can become insecure and believe our partner will leave, and therefore pull back from positive connection enough that it's no longer nourishing, invariably they will leave, either in body or spirit. A self-fulfilling prophecy from not choosing to face or heal the root of most problems in our life ~ our own inner wounds. Also, giving with an empty fuel tank is no gift at all, doesn't nourish.
You may agree or not, but whether male or female, it's truly best to marry our own masculine and feminine energies within, to have the most to offer another. Thanks for pondering and for your likes, shares, and comments. This shift IS happening, whether we like change or not, so thanks for hopping on board and riding this wave with me!